By Russell Bishop
Author, consultant, and executive coach
Illustration by Michael Gibbs
1. If you don’t know where you are going, any road will do. Get yourself as clear as possible on where you are going and, more importantly, why you are going there. Everyone has had the experience of wanting something, busting their tail to get it, and then wondering why they ever wanted it in the first place. Keep in mind that what you are really after is the underlying experience — for most people that’s a combination of joy, freedom, security, expansion, and love. Click here to for more information and perspective.
2. Imagine success before you even start. Begin with the end in mind — we all know that one. If you know what experience you truly seek, make certain that you begin by imagining yourself succeeding. What will it look like? What will you feel like? What will it be like along the way? Keep imagining that positive outcome. The more you practice succeeding in your mind, the more familiar success will become for you — a new comfort zone will begin emerging, one where success is the new normal. And the more practiced you are at being successful along the way, the more observant you will become on choices you can make along the way that will help you get to the outcome you seek.
3. You don’t get what you deserve — you get what you focus on. If you don’t think you deserve success, then you will focus on the roadblocks, what can go wrong, and myriad other issues, all of which will add up to encountering all manner of challenges, perhaps even self-defeating challenges, along the way. And you may wind up telling yourself that you were right — you don’t deserve success or that people like you don’t win — why else would all of these problems keep showing up? So, keep your focus on those images of success and positive feelings that come with them.
4. Positive thinking just doesn’t work. OK, a bit of a twist here, or so it would seem. If all it took were positive thinking, there’d be a whole lot of people not doing very much except daydreaming. Positive work, works. But how do you take a positive action without a positive focus? Keep a positive focus, keep imagining your successful outcomes, and then take that next step that moves you along the way. Even if that step may seem sideways or even the proverbial one step back, keep moving toward your vision.
5. Embrace what others call failure. Successful human beings do not make mistakes; they just make choices that don’t work out as well as they had hoped. It’s said that Edison tried more than 1,000 combinations of filament and gas before he arrived at a lightbulb that worked. As he framed it, the lightbulb had more than 1,000 steps before it showed up. Thank goodness he didn’t declare failure after the first 500 combinations! Successful people keep on choosing and keep on moving.
6. “It’s a cinch by the inch and hard by the yard.” We all know about the journey of a thousand miles. The question: So how many steps does it take for your particular journey? It’s not just math — a thousand miles divided by the average stride won’t get you there. Getting there gets you there — you may run into detours along the way, unplanned side trips, or any number of new adventures. Just keep the outcome in mind, enjoy each micro-step, and you will have a great time accomplishing your dreams.
7. Be prepared to learn something new along the way. Sometimes the dream changes along the way — not so much the quality of experience but the objective stuff. What if you set out on a goal and discover that there’s something even more fulfilling along the way? The trick is in being willing to explore the new information without sabotaging your mission. The goal or objective may change along the way, but the desired outcome usually stays put, if not actually turns out better than you could have imagined. One of my favorite affirmations: I am experiencing miracles as my seemingly impossible good is happening now. French psychologist Émile Coué said it this way: Every day in every way, I am getting better, better, and better.
8. Enjoy the appetizers along the way to the banquet table. Really fine dining often begins with an amuse-bouche — something to please the palate and invite you into the banquet that is to follow. As you learn more about your journey, you will discover that you are the chef, the server, and the one dining. If you have ever enjoyed a meal prepared by someone who loved what they were doing, then you already know that the best meals are prepared with love and joy. So, put love into your experience. It’s for you after all.
9. Be grateful — every day. Every night before going to sleep, I like to start by acknowledging anything I may have judged myself for during the day and then forgiving myself for having judged myself. That’s an important step in reminding myself that it’s about taking those micro-steps. Next, I go over little things I experienced during the day for which I am grateful. Funny thing is, those little things have a way of building into bigger things and the gratitude builds. Last thing before dropping off to sleep, I imagine those positive outcomes and the gratitude that I hold for them. Now that’s a really good day.
Read more about Russell Bishop at RussellBishop.com.